Where Two Or More Are Gathered..........

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Friday, April 15, 2005

Low Down...


When you find out that there has been infidelity in your relationship, you no doubt will be consumed with feelings of rage, betrayal, and self-doubt. In most instances, it will be enough to make you want to hunt that b*tch and beat her down, but what if you found out that the "other woman" is really a man? Yes, your man has been secretly having an affair with another man! This is a growing trend in the African American community known as the "DL", or the downlow lifestyle.

Because of the stereotypes of homosexuality in our society, men are either unwilling or unable to admit that they are involved in relationships with other men. Most of them do not consider themself to be gay or bi-sexual. This behavior is causing a grave health risk for women. HIV and AIDS infection rates are up among heterosexual women, in particular, African American women. The rate of infection among black women is 25 times the rate for white women. Over 30% of men who have had sex with another man admitted to having sex with a woman during the same time period.

In this day and age, with all of the risks involved and information available, what would cause a man to cheat, especially with another man?

71 Comments:

Blogger soundboyz said...

Uhhhhhmm......Hey Imara...is there something going on that we need to talk about?

Fri Apr 15, 12:14:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Geekbird said...

oh man, not "the low down" topic

Fri Apr 15, 12:51:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

LOL!! Now, Soundboyz... you know darn well I have NO problems in this department!

Fri Apr 15, 01:09:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> LOL!! Now, Soundboyz... you know darn well I have NO problems in this department!

No....how would I know?

Fri Apr 15, 01:24:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

>No....how would I know?

That's true... LOL!!

Fri Apr 15, 01:45:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

Okay, next topic.....

Nah, I'll weigh in on this too. (A BIG NO HOMO) This is a problem all the way around. We have accepted every lifestyle at the risk of our young people. Hey, sex feels good, but you can wait until you are in a committed relationship. And no, living together is NOT committed.

And Imara, I'm sorry you turned one to the other side, I am sure he already had those feelings to begin with even before he met you.

Fri Apr 15, 01:52:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

>And Imara, I'm sorry you turned one to the other side, I am sure he already had those feelings to begin with even before he met you.

Two Dogs, I have done NO such thing! LOL!! Nor do I know anyone who has experienced this. I just thought it would generate an interesting debate.

Fri Apr 15, 02:05:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Hey, sex feels good, but you can wait until you are in a committed relationship. And no, living together is NOT committed.

You are a hypocrite!!!You had mad sex out of wedlock , so I don't want to hear your self righteous bullshit today!!!

Fri Apr 15, 02:34:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

Two Dogs, why is it that "living together" is not "committed"? I have a friend who has lived with their S.O. for several years, and their relationship is stronger than most married people's. Commitment is about the substance of a relationship, not the legalization of it.

Fri Apr 15, 02:40:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Besides, most male gay marriages end in divorce anyway. Yep, turns out one or both spouse always complain of getting hurt in the end!

Fri Apr 15, 02:51:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

>turns out one or both spouse always complain of getting hurt in the end!

See, that was just wrong!

Fri Apr 15, 02:56:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Commitment is about the substance of a relationship, not the legalization of it.

Plus, you end up in that 20% tax bracket!!!!

Anyway, I thought the topic was about the DL lifestyle. Obviously marriage has nothing to do with preventing this, or infidelity.

Fri Apr 15, 02:57:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

>Yep, turns out one or both spouse always complain of getting hurt in the end!

Oh, good Lord, you put that one into the third deck. Just like Brry.

Fri Apr 15, 03:01:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

Oh, and there is a type of commitment when you live together. As soundboyz points out Carla and I lived together for close to five years before getting married. The day we were wed, everything changed. And it was not for the better or worse. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done and the most important.

Just listen to me, if you have never been married, you have no idea exactly how much different things are.

Fri Apr 15, 03:04:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Just listen to me, if you have never been married, you have no idea exactly how much different things are.

I don't know what you're talking about by different.Different HOW? Care to explain.

Now, how exactly does that work in the Catholic faith ? If living together is "in sin" then you get married, does that wipe out the "sin"? What exactly is the "sin" part of it, the sex? If that's the case then we've all sinned many times before.I plan to sin again later on. Does Dolly classify as "living together?"

Fri Apr 15, 03:17:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Anyway, there are a lot of females who also live this down low lifestyle. Little is being mentioned about this because most females choose to stay tight lipped about the situation. However , some analysts think that it is far more widespread than originally thought.I guess the cat has their tongues on this issue.

Fri Apr 15, 04:20:00 PM 2005  
Blogger KR said...

I'll weigh in on your contribution, Soundboyz. Yes, woman-woman relationships are far more common than people realize.

Historically, they have always been tacitly accepted. Most men do not feel threatened by their woman sleeping with another woman -- in fact, most find it a turn-on. Add to that the fact that if she was sleeping with a woman she wasn't going to cockhold him, and most husbands were willing to look the other way when 'friends from her school days' came to visit.

Also, its harder for women to spread sexually transmitted diseases amongst themselves. Lesbians are the lowest, statistically, for STDs, and it is likely that a good number of those are transmitted via sharing needles, not beds--but that is a topic for another day.

As far as the down-low goes... I'm a hedonist. I do whatever I think will feel good, but I practice safe sex. Men are dogs. We all know it and most will admit it. Dogs will hump anything. They also eat other dogs' shit. Anal sex w/o a condom is like eating someone else's shit, in my not so humble opinion. Unfortunately, until technology can come up with a condom that protects a penis w/o 'feeling like a condom' men are going to continue blowing their wads wherever it feels good and spreading their diseases indiscriminately. 'Nuff said.

Sat Apr 16, 12:33:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

LOL!!!!Kelly, I find your honesty and wisdom very refreshing. I agree with you on all points. Men do "look the other way" when it comes to women who practice the down low lifestyle. I just want to know where to find these women , and I WON'T look the other way,at least not while they are reminiscing about the "old days".

Sat Apr 16, 01:10:00 AM 2005  
Blogger KR said...

Soundboyz said:
>I just want to know where to find these women

Try dating someone who attended a women-only college. Chances are good that she 'experimented' while there, and if not, I'm sure she could still tell you some interesting stories ;)

Sat Apr 16, 01:59:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Thanks for the tip Kelly.I just have one other question.....How am I going to attract these women.....they're GAY?

Sat Apr 16, 10:23:00 AM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

Kelly, your comment in right on point. However, I think that if women, armed with the proper information, insist that they are protected, the spread of disease will decrease.

I find your blog very interesting. You seem to be highly intelligent and very observant.

Sat Apr 16, 11:07:00 AM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

Opps, I meant "is" not "in"!

Sat Apr 16, 11:08:00 AM 2005  
Blogger KR said...

> How am I going to attract
> these women.....they're GAY?

Ooooh really? Hmm. Lets see. I spent 5 years at the largest women's college in the country. Undergrad enrollment is usually 2800. I know for certain that they aren't ALL gay. Even the ones who sleep with other women aren't gay. I've always considered it being sensually polymorphous.

It is a common misconception that if you enjoy making love to someone of the same gender, you are gay or confused. Well, my last partner was, without a doubt, a true-blue lesbian. And she tells me I'm not gay. So go figure.

Drop the pre-conceived notions about sexuality. Sex is about the reproductive drive. Sensuality is about pleasure.

And Imara--thank you, thar is very kind of you to say.

Sat Apr 16, 11:23:00 AM 2005  
Blogger KR said...

Oh, Imara, regarding women and protected sex. I have two words for you. Female Condom.
I was introduced to them at college :) They are wonderful!

Sat Apr 16, 11:30:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Kelly, do you have any "old friends from college?" If so, can I get their information.......:>

Sat Apr 16, 11:56:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Kelly, I think Imara was talking about women taking control of their own bodies by demanding that men use condoms.This would greatly reduce the rate of infectious disease as well as unwanted pregnancies.

I must say, after looking at that female condom, I didn't know that women's penises were that BIG.......

Sat Apr 16, 12:03:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Oh Imara, You should visit Musafir's blog and scroll down to the post about his lists of blogs that peaks his interest.

Sat Apr 16, 12:07:00 PM 2005  
Blogger KR said...

No, Soundboyz, real men have penises that BIG! *grin* Actually the reason for the size of the sheathe is to be one-size-fits-all so as to be as loose-fitting as possible during intercourse (it also works as a dental dam). When I was sexually active, I would forget the FC was there, and so would my partners. Its fucking awesome. Some people think it is awkward at first.. but think back to the first few times you tried to put on a male condom, all hyped up on adrenaline, shaking, aroused and ready to go. Girls, you can insert an FC hours in advance, no fumbling, no arguing, no worrying that the guy you've decided to be intimate with is on the down-low.

Sat Apr 16, 12:12:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

LOL!!!!!^Very funny Kelly.

Sat Apr 16, 12:22:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Oh, and Kelly, I get your point in response to Imara.Women can do one better than insisting that men wear a condom, they can wear one themselves.Sorry,I'm a little slow.I didn't graduate from Smith......although I fantasize that I did.

Sat Apr 16, 12:26:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Polymorphous....hmmmmmmm, yeah, that's me!!

Sat Apr 16, 02:33:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Soundboyz,
When you have a moment, mosey on over to my post on race. There's an interesting comment from Ange.

Sat Apr 16, 05:23:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Hi Nzyme, I did see that comment. I think Ange was confused about the article. Maybe you should apologize to her, she was obviously mistaken.

Sat Apr 16, 10:30:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Nzyme said...

No, sir, can't do it. Just the fact that she would assume that I think I'm "high yella" is enough for me. What I WILL do is post a long overdue family pic. You have a blessed day!

Sun Apr 17, 05:03:00 AM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

Okay, now it is confirmed, Nzyme is from Louisiana. I haven't heard "high yella" in forever.

As far as living in sin, Catholic style: Yea, I've done it. It was good, but when we were married in all changed. I've said this before, marriage makes nothing "better". It's just different. And in Catholicism, as other Christian faiths, you simply atone for your sins and they are forgiven. Oh, G_d probably knows if you're sincere or not. You know, that omniscient thing and all.

Imara, if you have never been married, there are good things and bad in my opinion, I'm sure that Nzyme could let you in on some of the bad. Living together just does not offer the things that marriage does, the pressure is increased exponentially. You stand in front of family, friends, and the Heavens are promise to follow the rules from here on out. It's quite humbling.

I miss Carla dreadfully and have not even tried to move on even though she has been gone almost one year. That's probably why I drink so damn much.

Mon Apr 18, 12:30:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Two Dogs, I wasn't referring to your relationship with your wife, I was talking about all that poontang you got before you said "I DO".

Mon Apr 18, 12:47:00 AM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

>Living together just does not offer the things that marriage does, the pressure is increased exponentially.

Two Dogs, this sure doesn't sound like a convincing agrument for marriage!

>I miss Carla dreadfully and have not even tried to move on even though she has been gone almost one year. That's probably why I drink so damn much.

I hope you will find the will to move on someday, Two Dogs. Drinking isn't going to change things. Time heals all wounds.

Mon Apr 18, 04:53:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>I hope you will find the will to move on someday, Two Dogs. Drinking isn't going to change things. Time heals all wounds.

If not , you can always borrow Dolly's sister Holly, you should see the jugs on her....

Mon Apr 18, 05:16:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

soundboyz, there was a time that I was part of a touring rock and roll band. Gotta give the fans what they want. YOU of all people should know what I mean.

Imara, it is NOT a convincing argument, but marriage is worth whatever you care to put into it. There is nothing more rewarding. And at some point, I may be able to lay down the "I am missing her" attitude and attempt to have something with someone else. Probably not in the next 15 years, but that remains to be seen. She was absolutely the love of my life, there will be no one to ever take her place, and the pictures on my blog will appear on the anniversery of her death.

You will experience the highs and the lows of my entire life in one fell swoop. Chew your fingernails until then. April 26th, by the way.

Tue Apr 19, 01:05:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Probably not in the next 15 years, but that remains to be seen.

What the hell? You were just telling me about the transvestite you hit it off with at the gay bar. Is he/she a convincing Beyonce impersonator?

Tue Apr 19, 01:11:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Attention all readers.....Two Dogs hit it off with a Beyonce look alike at a gay bar!!!! We wish him all the best !!!

> This is the one that I went to the gay bar to see do his thing. We had dinner tonight and it's ON!!!!!

Tue Apr 19, 01:20:00 AM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

soundboyz, I understand your need to throw the typo in there, but I have the post on my site to show that it was "her" thing. And you really ought to look at the picture I sent, damn. Damn, I tell you, damn.

Tue Apr 19, 01:29:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

You're right Two Dogs, that was a typo and it was an accident, not intentional. However, I have yet to see any picture of this Beyonce look alike. Maybe she is really a tranny? Why else would she be performing in a Gay Bar? Hey , just so you know, I understand man.Some of them fool me too, if I didn't check them out too closely. Hey , I've been fooled on Maurey when he has those types on. It's no big deal man, I understand!

Tue Apr 19, 02:19:00 AM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

>Oh Imara, You should visit Musafir's blog and scroll down to the post about his lists of blogs that peaks his interest.

I saw that! I left him a comment... I am truly touched that he would consider us kindred spirits. WOW!

Tue Apr 19, 11:43:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Wasn't that just great? It made me feel so good to know that someone with that level of intellect would find interest in our blog. Imara, I guess teaming up with you wasn't as bad as I first thought!

Tue Apr 19, 11:46:00 AM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

>Imara, it is NOT a convincing argument, but marriage is worth whatever you care to put into it. There is nothing more rewarding.

Two Dogs, I understand what you're saying about marriage, but ANY relationship is worth whatever you care to put into it. Marriage should be based on love, respect, commitment and trust. These things aren't given to you the day you get married... you should already have them before you make the decision to marry.

I think people get tripped up by thinking that "love" is an emotion, when really it is a decision.

Tue Apr 19, 11:56:00 AM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

>Imara, I guess teaming up with you wasn't as bad as I first thought!

LOL!! Stick with me Soundboyz, I'll take you places! The best is yet to come...

Tue Apr 19, 11:58:00 AM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

Seriously, Soundboyz... it's obvious you're the Blog Star around here! LOL!!

Tue Apr 19, 11:59:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> Seriously, Soundboyz... it's obvious you're the Blog Star around here! LOL!!

Oh Imara, you are far too kind. I wouldn't go that far. I think that you are just being your usual modest self. We both know that deep down , you are the spark AND the fire that burns so bright on this blog. You are the sun that shines it's rays of light and warms us and gives us the energy for life. I see you as being the brains behind the operation......

But, Yea , I think you are very smart and bright and 100% accurate in saying that i'm the Blog Star!!

Tue Apr 19, 12:21:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>>Imara, it is NOT a convincing argument, but marriage is worth whatever you care to put into it. There is nothing more rewarding.


Hold on to your tranny lover Two Dogs, I have a post coming up about this!

Tue Apr 19, 12:22:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

Soundboyz, flattery will get you everywhere!

>But, Yea , I think you are very smart and bright and 100% accurate in saying that i'm the Blog Star!!

Don't let it go to your head now, Soundboyz! I'd hate to have to take ya down a notch...

Tue Apr 19, 12:34:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Don't let it go to your head now, Soundboyz! I'd hate to have to take ya down a notch...

Are you threatening me Imara?.....Go ahead and try!!! I don't need all the little people holding me back from stardom!!!!I am the Blog Star!!!!I made this thing what it is !!!!! ME!!!!ME DAMMIT!!!! ME!!!!! Go ahead I don't need you!!!!!

Tue Apr 19, 12:39:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Wait Imara, don't go.....Please(sobbing), I'm sorry about everything I said!!! I do need you !!! I admit you are the Blog Star!!! I was jus jealous of your talents!!! Pleaseeeee!!!!!(crying hysterically) Imara.....pwetty pwease?

Tue Apr 19, 12:41:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

Are you done begging and carrying on like a baby?

Tue Apr 19, 12:47:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

YES...........

Tue Apr 19, 12:57:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

Ok then... I forgive you, but I will tell you this... if you have another outburst like that again...

Tue Apr 19, 01:03:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Why is it we seldom stick to the topic? We might as well start a message board, cause that's what this uaually turns into.


But back to the topic, yea , I think that this is a serious problem , this Down Low lifestyle. I hear that the bi sexual men claim it's not their fault.They say that they are not trying to have it both ways. Most of them say that they are really gay, but sometimes find the need to be with a woman when their lover gets too uptight!

Tue Apr 19, 01:03:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> Ok then... I forgive you, but I will tell you this... if you have another outburst like that again...

>Are you threatening me Imara?.....Go ahead and try!!! I don't need all the little people holding me back from stardom!!!!I am the Blog Star!!!!I made this thing what it is !!!!! ME!!!!ME DAMMIT!!!! ME!!!!! Go ahead I don't need you!!!!!

Tue Apr 19, 01:04:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

Man, y'all need to get a room. But judging by the picture above y'all have already been there.

Tue Apr 19, 01:06:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

Soundboyz, I am surprised that you would make light of my post... after all, I spent so much time interviewing you and Steven for my research. See if I try to get to the bottom of an issue that is so near and dear to you ever again.

Keep taunting me... you'll regret it in the end!

Tue Apr 19, 01:10:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>... you'll regret it in the end

That's what I said to Two Dogs if he keeps messing with "Beyonce".

Tue Apr 19, 01:16:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>But judging by the picture above y'all have already been there.

LOL!!! And judging from your pictures , you have already been there, DONE THAT!!!!

Two Dogs, I'm glad Imara posted on this topic in light of these new revelations!Don't worry Two Dogs, we respect everyone's right to be who they were really meant to be . Because after all, It's you that has to be interested in your lover's bottom line!!

Tue Apr 19, 01:24:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

>That's what I said to Two Dogs if he keeps messing with "Beyonce".

His heart is going to be so broken when he gets "her" home and the magic moment is about to happen, and he finds out their both working with the same parts!

Two Dogs, rule #1... if an attractive woman is hanging out in a gay bar... there is either something mentally/emotionally wrong with her, or she's really a him, and in that case... he's GAY!

Tue Apr 19, 01:28:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Yea....Don't worry Two Dogs, we still respect you .Don't let what people say bother you, they don't know what's going on between you two.Please , don't let anything tear you two apart.

Tue Apr 19, 01:40:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Imara said...

>Please , don't let anything tear you two apart.

OUCH!!

... In the end, it's what feels good to you, Two Dogs. We'll support you either way!

Tue Apr 19, 01:50:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

Oh, y'all knock it off.

Tue Apr 19, 04:32:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> Oh, y'all knock it off.

Where's the picture Two Dogs?

Tue Apr 19, 04:54:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

Your spammer shit must be killing it. I am going to send you a jpeg, but change the extension.

Wed Apr 20, 01:22:00 AM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

O.K i'm waiting!

Wed Apr 20, 12:35:00 PM 2005  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

Hey soundboyz was commenter "69". Coincidence? I think not.

Wed Apr 20, 12:49:00 PM 2005  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> Hey soundboyz was commenter "69". Coincidence? I think not.

Two Dogs, Shut your ASS and send the picture!! No need for freaky conspiracy theories.You're the only freak around here!!!

Wed Apr 20, 02:28:00 PM 2005  

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